The most Wise in Facing Divorce
thefarpoint.org
Divorce, for most people, not be an option to overcome relationship problems. But not a few couples who eventually chose to divorce. If you are experiencing the same thing, do the following 10 ways for divorce does not end up a disaster. At least, you can still maintain a good relationship with your ex-spouse, especially with child-care considerations that still need love and attention of both parents.
1. Give time to yourself
However divorce affects your psyche. Your reaction to something will change; your needs and interests will also experience a shift. For that, you need time for yourself to organize yourself. Wake up clear rules and boundaries with your ex-spouse, especially to create a pattern of parenting in children. Let your natural walking post-divorce friendship.
2. Carefully select the mediator and attorney
Divorce is costly to pay a lawyer. However, you can save money by only paying the mediator service if the communication with your ex-spouse is running fine. This means that divorce is a joint decision that was well received by both. However, in conditions of poor relations, even conflicts, the lawyer becomes the most appropriate mediator, even though you have to spend more money for this.
3. Write the child-care planning and talk directly.
Focus on what is best for children when designing and writing patterns of post-divorce parenting. Imagine your child’s feelings while reading a parenting plan that is written with such obvious. If the child is old enough, talk with them. Say that you and your ex-spouse will work as a team in caring for them. The interests of children need to be a major focus above all the interests of you and your ex-spouse.
4. Believe it is okay, but always verify.
The deal that was acceptable to both sides needs to be written. For example make agreement on child care, Make sure all agreements made in writing clearly. This is where the importance of why the divorce need a lawyer who acted as mediators. Issues such as child-care money and require a written agreement.
5. Prepared for a change
Failure to undergo post-divorce agreement is sometimes inevitable. Friction still will remain between you and your ex-husband, especially regarding child care. Be prepared with the conditions that will change later. At least make plans to minimize failures, i.e., by writing in detail about the agreement you make with your ex-spouse. Make sure all parties understand clearly.
6. be cooperative
When one party violates the agreement, try to understand his condition. Find out and find solutions together why the agreement is violated. Especially, related to child care. Make sure, the interests of children above all else.
7. Avoid the old pattern of relationships
Part of the post-divorce recovery is no longer responsible for your ex-spouse, family, or anything associated with it in private. So, even with him against you, you must get away from him, including not using the old relationship pattern, meaning do not ask for support from former spouse to your personal problems.
8. Let the transformed relationship.
You will feel lonely and lost, even worse after the divorce. But this is only temporary, and in time your relationship will be healthy again. At least you and your ex-spouse could be good friends, especially in terms of child care. Let the natural flow relationship and transformed into a more healthy post-divorce
9. Spend time together as a family.
When the relationship or your feelings are unhealthy post-divorce, spend time together as a family. Go to dinner with the children and former spouse do fine. Goal is to show your child that his parents still care. As a family, you can still get together.
10. Do not present the new guy.
While hanging out with children and former spouse make sure no one else or a new person in your relationship or husband. Although children are teenagers, they will be confused by the presence of this new person. Be sure to focus on the family unit without a stranger in it.
